TW: Abuse, sexual assault allegations 

Amber Heard is the poster child of court misogyny. Her allegations of domestic abuse towards Johnny Depp, which he countered with abusive records and allegations of his own, cumulated in a lawsuit from each of them against the other. As Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard progresses in court, the media coverage of the events discussed by both parties reveal a troubling picture of what it means to be a battered man in America, evident in both the public’s reaction and Heard’s own flippancy. 

When Heard first released her assault accusations, the public burst into outrage (and rightfully so: no woman should have to tolerate abuse from a partner, and there was not yet evidence to discredit her). She was asked to endorse and speak at women’s empowerment events and was hailed as a brave survivor coming forward to share her truth. Johnny Depp suffered an inverse fate—he lost his role in the Fantastic Beasts series, was assailed on social media, and grew into a pariah among his Hollywood counterparts, who were quick to cut their association with him. As his side of the story surfaced, painting Heard as the abuser, Depp was still held at arm’s length by his contemporaries while Heard was celebrated for her courage. Very few of his associates publicly announced support for him in the same manner that occurred for his former partner. The lack of enthusiasm to entertain Depp’s perspective from the beginning highlights a glaring issue in how the public views perpetrators and victims: that women can be victims without further interrogation, but men who speak up should be questioned. 

Heard’s lack of care towards her former partner can best be seen in an audio clip played in the courtroom, in which she admits to striking him and belittles him, “I’m sorry that I didn’t hit you across the face in a proper slap,” Heard says, “I was hitting you, I was not punching you.” The recording continues as she calls Depp “a f******* baby” for voicing his distress. While court photos and records show that both parties were negligent in the relationship and maintained toxic habits (such as drug use) while together, the degree of Amber Heard’s mistreatment was considerably harsher. Her callous attitude towards Depp reflects her confidence in her narrative; she is aware that women can be more easily classified as victims than men, and she likely knew of the difficulties that men who have suffered abuse face in the U.S. legal system. Heard’s actions are not a vision of an equitable America, but of a system that values palatability over justice. 

Heard began her accusations against Johnny Depp with sexual assault allegations, which then escalated into domestic abuse allegations. Her claims spread like wildfire at a time when the Internet elected to listen to the stories of women living with trauma, propelled by the #MeToo hashtag on social media. The #MeToo movement has created a myriad of positive outlets for victims of assault, but, in this particular instance, its centering on women serves as a detriment. While a technical facet of modern feminism includes advocating for men as well, this does not often translate to the real world: men can be disproportionately disregarded or met with annoyance when they reveal their own traumas. The mass publicity of Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard could be a catalyst in changing this vicious cycle. With public attention finally focused on a story of a man abused by a woman, perceptions can be altered. Men can be victims. Women can be abusers. Once this fact becomes common knowledge, reality can take a massive step towards equality. 

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Katha: Neither Johnny Deep nor Amber Heard are perfect. Johnny Depp does not deserve an apology. We have a double standard, where men are automatically believed but women need to work ten times harder to prove the abuse. As soon as a woman does not act like a perfect victim (i.e., subservient and sexually “pure”), the world views her as a villain who should apologize and bow down to the man.

The vitriol directed against Amber Heard is deeply misogynistic. It is obvious that people want Johnny Depp to be the “great hero” and Amber Heard to bow down to him.

Q30: We have a double standard, where men are automatically believed but women need to work ten times harder to prove the abuse.

This is the _exact opposite_ of what happened between Depp and Heard. The double standard that you describe is truly the other way around.

Kevin Giffin: What a complete crock. A woman has only to suggest that she was abused these days and the police, courts, and public get out the pitchforks and torches. What planet do you live on?

Kathryn: Thank-you! I agree whole-heartedly!

Jessica Klem: 100%. He does not deserve an apology because he is an abuser. He lost his last lawsuit because of abundant evidence proving it. The evidence shows his many text apologies for his “monster” going too far. There is video of him violently raging at her while smashing up a kitchen while intoxicated. The blinders on to his horrible behavior and the misogyny directed at her is so disturbing. She was never supported in the public eye and he was always excused.

Katha: Your comment that “reality can take a massive step towards equality” is extremely naive. Johnny Depp is a lot older than Amber Heard, he made a lot more money, and he was much more famous. They had a patriarchal marriage.

If Johnny Depp “wins” this case, it will consolidate the patriarchy and set women back by about fifteen years. Johnny Deep shows that wealthy men can always hire the shrewdest lawyers and get their own way.

What REALLY bothers me is that you automatically believe Johnny and distrust Amber. But of course, Johnny is a male and in our “enlightened” society, people believe the man much more than the woman.

Dee: You are apologizing for an abuser simply because you don’t want your own personal agenda to be harmed. You say “if Depp wins… it will set women back”. You don’t seem to care whether he was abused or not, you only care about “how this will effect women”. You outright admitted that you want the outcome that will be more convenient for women, rather than the actual justice that is due in the situation.

In other words, you don’t care about him receiving justice because he is male. We have a word for that, and it’s called sexism.

Yannis: Go to a psychiatrist Kathy!

AI: “If Johnny Depp “wins” this case, it will consolidate the patriarchy and set women back by about fifteen years. Johnny Deep shows that wealthy men can always hire the shrewdest lawyers and get their own way.”

So a male abuse victim getting justice is anti-feminist and pro-patriarchy? Ditch the conspiracy theories. No wonder feminism is such a joke if that’s the level it reaches.

“What REALLY bothers me is that you automatically believe Johnny and distrust Amber. But of course, Johnny is a male and in our “enlightened” society, people believe the man much more than the woman.”

What absolute garbage. Depp was dragged through the mud on Amber Heard’s word because people automatically believed HER, and – unlike the so-called “evidence” against him – the evidence against her is overwhelming (on tape she mocks him, verbally abuses him, admits to violence corroborated by witnesses, and sexually coerces him). And – unlike her – he STILL has to fight to clear his name. You’d rather support that sort of horrendous abuse because stopping it is “pro-patriarchy” then?

Eva Spencer: Are you purposely ignoring the mountains of evidence against her? Starting with her own recorded admissions of beating him? My God! I do not believe her, and I do not believe all women or men. I believe EVIDENCE. Both were verbally abusive, but the one who’s clearly guilty of physical, mental, psychological, and FINANCIAL abuse is her.

Laura: I like how you said people automatically believed Johnny and not Amber when Amber literally gained support for her actions and being seen as a hero who survived domestic abuse and Johnny has lost trust in many people and was cut from roles in upcoming movies. The reason people are starting to believe him is because of the EVIDENCE of Amber abusing HIM, she literally said it herself that she has struck him many times! She’s also manipulative! Lying to the judge is illegal you know, and don’t go spitting misogyny, if you think she represents us women then you’re the misogynist here, assuming the women who lies and victimizes herself is a representation of us is downright disgusting. And you’re claims of people wanting women to “bow” down to men is just delusional, have you taken your medication?

DCH: You seem to be unaware that Depp filed a case in England against the Sun for calling him a wife beater. That trial went along the same path it is going so far in the US with the exception that it was not televised. Depp’s attorneys presented his case and then his case was badly dismantled when the defense presented theirs. While that trial was not televised, it was heavily documented. In the case of that trial, most on social media said Depp would win. Of course there was an innate bias in most of those conclusions – Depp is a popular star. Yet experts found that many on social media were playing down the evidence against Depp and over-emphasizing problems with the Sun and Heard. The Judge could have cared less about celebrity-dom and his comments toward Depp were scathing. Of course the Judge also waited until the trial was over before coming to a conclusion. Unlike you, that Judge also heard the defense’s case. That is how trials work. The plaintiff’s attorneys has evidence it presents and witnesses it calls. The defense is allowed to cross-examine. The defense then has evidence it presents and witnesses it calls. The plaintiff’s attorneys are allowed to cross-examine. You have arrived at your conclusion before the first part of this trial has even been concluded. I don’t believe Depp deserves an apology. I paid close attention to the details of the first trial and the reality is the evidence against Depp is damning to say the least. Even with the plaintiffs going first, the evidence is pretty damning against Depp. That is unless I would give myself to rationalization. This trial, as with the UK trial, has the stench of a DARVO situation. Not only is it maybe best to wait for his lengthy, expected to go 6 weeks, trial to conclude. It may be a good idea to look over the concept of DARVO. For considering the horrific nature of Depp’s texts, the rage caught on video, the reactions to drug and alcohol abuse, etc. that has already been demonstrated, for you to arrive at this conclusion – let along refusing to hear the rest of the case – is perplexing.

Q30: Maybe you should check-out the sworn testimony by the couple’s Bahamas property manager. She testified that on several occasions, Amber would assault Johnny and Johnny would try to get away from her. She claimed that Amber was the truly violent one. That’s a bit more ‘damning’ than a video in which he kicks a kitchen cabinet. Amber sliced the tip of his finger off, but you don’t bat an eyelash at that do you.

Gere: The UK case had a lot of evidence blocked and not allowed, almost anything against Heard was not allowed. So I’m guessing you didn’t pay THAT close of attention. Just like now when they ask direct witnesses things they were told directly by Amber Heard and her lawyers object.. or when her lawyers ask questions and object to their OWN questions.

And no. Not a single case of abuse by Johnny has been shown. You know what HAS been shown? Her faking injuries with make-up. Her being physically and emotionally abusive (including her Ex who said the exact same thing about Amber). Her lying about money. Her lying to her friends about the abuse and them running upstairs to see that she was actually fine because they got in before her.

If these genders were reversed, your type would be shouting “Heard is a monster!” from the mountains. She cut part of his freaking finger off…. let that sink into your head. When he was on drugs he yelled at her after she smashed his face in. Oh yeah, yeah. “They are equally against each other.” Get over it. This is the first time we’ve actually heard Depp’s case fully, because the UK case was a joke. This case is really showing the misandry in so many people.

Eva Spencer: There is no comparison between the UK trial and the one here in the U.S. The judge in the UK did not allow all of the evidence that we are seeing in the U.S., and here we have a jury. The two cases are nothing alike. Thank goodness for the cameras in the court room because without them we would have to rely on the MSM, and so far, they continue pushing their very biased, pro defendant narrative. Even if she wins, the world has seen ALL of the evidence and the evidence speaks for itself. It’s sad, but that defendant has done a tremendous disservice to domestic violence victims/survivors all over the world. Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate. Women AND men can be victims, and men AND women can be abusers.

Martin: Perhaps my own experience illustrates the challenge that a male victim of domestic abuse may face.

After I’d attempted suicide in Montreal in 2001, the psychiatrist told me based on no proof that I’d done so as an alternative to killing my wife.

Luckily for me, however emotionally and sexually abusive she was, at least she wasn’t the kind to make false accusations. She just looked confused at the doctor’s comment, turned to me, then berated me for my attempt.

Seeing no help there, I left to work abroad.

It was as if the doctor was trying to prod my wife to make an accusation.

Mitchell: I’ll admit that I haven’t been following this drama religiously, but everything I have seen paints a picture of a mutually toxic relationship.

One that should’ve ended when they broke up, and yet it has been dragged through the public square, in order to harm only one member of the relationship. Amber Heard has not, and likely will never see any form of punishment or justice for her abuse of Johnny, unlike the reverse.

This is not a unique story, whenever stories of toxic relationships surface the judgements fall far more heavily on men, sometimes, especially in the cases of physical violence this is reasonable, but in a lot of cases the true story is far greyer than we’re willing to accept.

Mario Rodgers: Johnny Depp is not the patriarchy. Johnny Depp is one man. One man who was a victim. Funny how “feminism helps men” until it’s time for the rubber to meet the road. Funny how it’s “believe victims” unless the victim is male.

Ines: I agree with you Kathy. Johnny Depp is not a Saint. But he was clearly abused. His former partners support him whereas amber heard has a history of abuse.

For those who still have doubts, about women abusers never being punished, watch the red pill documentary in youtube.

Marcos Siqueira: The truth is: people (man and woman alike) can be mean. That is why, in the liberal political order, created since the enlightment, accusations cannot mean guilt! JD life was destroyed just because he was a man and his accuser was a woman. This is unacceptable! The #metoo has reverted the liberal legal order, destroyed countless lives and carved a scar for future generations.

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